Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)
Come on a ride along with a Veteran Homicide Detective as the twists and turns of the job suddenly end his career and nearly his life; discover how something wonderful is born out of the Darkness. Embark on the journey from helping people on their worst days, to bringing life, excitement and smiles on their best days.
Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)
Our Killer Year: Top Episodes, Why We Do It and a Thanks to You!
We celebrate one year of the Murders to Music podcast by reflecting on our journey of vulnerability, transparency, and the mission to help others through shared experiences.
• 18 guests sharing intimate stories spanning faith, family, serial killers, and mental health
• 68 different uploads across 54 episodes in one year
• Reaching 36 countries, 377 cities, and 4,800 downloads to date
• Top episode: "Faith on the Frontline" featuring Tim Smith and James Doyle discussing Christianity in professional settings
• Second most downloaded: "From Lieutenant to Buffoon" with Scott Walden's journey from success to career-ending burnout
• Third most popular: "Final Day: From Meth Lab to Meditation" detailing my own PTSD journey
• Honorable mention: "Surviving the Unthinkable" with Ashley's story of overcoming familial sexual abuse
• Creating space for difficult conversations that help others feel less alone
• Using pain for purpose and sharing vulnerability as a path to healing
Email your story or guest suggestions to murderstomusic@gmail.com
Gift For You!!! Murders to Music will be releasing "SNAPSHOTS" periodcally to keep you entertained throughout the week! Snapshots will be short, concise bonus episodes containing funny stories, tid bits of brilliance and magical moments!!! Give them a listen and keep up on the tea!
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Murders to Music podcast. My name is Aaron, I'm your host and thank you guys so much for sticking around for one full year. This is the anniversary episode. 362 days ago, I released the first episode of the Murders to Music podcast, and tonight what I want to do is I just want to talk a little bit about how far we've come in one year and maybe the top three episodes that has been downloaded and published over the last year. I think it's super important just to thank everybody that has come on and has participated, whether they're a guest, whether they're telling their story, my therapist in the background who's keeping me sane, all of this. I think it's super important and I'm really, really excited to do this episode. So over the last year, here's what we've got We've had 18 guests on the show and those guests are telling their stories with everything from topics of faith and family to serial killers and mental health.
Speaker 1:Everybody that's been on the show has told personal, private and intimate stories about real life stuff that actually happens A lot of times. The stuff they're talking about are things that as human beings, we don't want to share, but they have been vulnerable enough to come on the show and just talk about it in the hopes that their pain has a purpose, in the hopes that somebody can learn from what they've been through, or maybe just provide entertaining value. You know everything we do on the show, we try to make it either entertaining, provide value or education, and I think if the listeners can walk away with one of those three things, then we've had a successful show. You know, you don't have to be a cop or you don't have to be a musician or whatever to get something from what we're putting out. We always try to attack the topics in such a way that anybody listening can get something from what we're talking about, and I think having those 18 guests on has been great because, one, it's not just me rattling on, but two, it gives a different perspective and a different set of life circumstances. So I just want to thank all those guests that are out there that have been on, and all my future guests that I know I'm going to fill up this next year with.
Speaker 1:In the last year we've had 68 different uploads or publications, and that includes your snapshots, that includes your typical Tuesday episodes, just your little things that I throw out here and there. But out of those 68, there's been 54 episodes in the last year. That is more than one a week. That is a ton of work that goes into the podcast to make sure we put out quality information and stuff that people will actually come back and keep listening to. And we know people are listening to it because right now we're in 36 different countries. Know people are listening to it because right now we're in 36 different countries, 377 different cities and we've got 4,800 downloads to date.
Speaker 1:And I think for a guy starting with just an idea and listeners out there that want to cling to something and they want to hear vulnerability and transparency, that is so awesome. And I just thank everybody for continuing to listen to this and leaving the feedback and the reviews, because that just helps the algorithms and it just gets out there to more people. And I know that God is going to put this in front of the people that it needs to be in front of. And that is what is so cool about what's going on as we continue to, as I continue to record this show and produce these podcasts. You must be thinking man, he's making a ton of money. He's got to be. You know what I'm doing doesn't even rate, doesn't even get you to the point where you're making any money on this, so I'm definitely not doing this for the money. Everything that's been going on is just to help others and just to share, and really a lot of times it's just for me to give an outlet as to what is going on in my world, you know, and a little glimpse into life, and to talk about the things again that some people don't want to talk about, or the things that are hard, or when you have to self-reflect and realize that you got a ton of pride and your ego is huge and how that is maybe stifling your production in life and the way you interact with people. And it's those things that I've just really enjoyed being able to talk to you guys and just have a silent friend there to listen. So thank you guys so much for that.
Speaker 1:When I started doing a podcast, I had an idea as to what I wanted to talk about and I knew there was a message hidden in there somewhere, but I didn't know how I was going to go about doing it and I realized right away that people just want to hear the truth. They don't want the BS, they don't want the fluff, they just want to hear the vulnerability, the candid, the transparent conversations. They want to hear the stuff that is real and makes you human. You know and I've cried on this show more than once as I'm talking about my stuff and through my struggles and that is where I get the most feedback is when people realize that you're sitting in there having a coffee shop conversation across the table with them and just listening. You know, and they're listening to you and you're listening to them, and this is two way conversation. So as I've progressed over the last year, I've realized that and I think that's been super helpful for me again just to have somebody to release to and somebody to talk it out with.
Speaker 1:As I bring guests on the show, that's also something I try to talk to them about. You know, when I'm considering a guest, I try to find somebody who has a story to tell, who has a situation, who can share something that other people can get something from, and a lot of times it's the difficult conversations that I want to bring on the show and hear about One. I think that it's important for them to share. You know, and being through lots of therapy, I've learned more about myself by just talking it out and the therapist not saying anything, just me processing and speaking these things out, and I think that's super helpful for some of the guests that have come on here. In fact, I know it is because they've told me.
Speaker 1:The other thing I try to look for in a guest is somebody who is willing to share intimacy and vulnerability. I want somebody who is willing to help others. They have to have the right heart. I don't want somebody on here that's on here just to talk about themselves so they can inflate their own ego and just hear themselves chitter-chatter. I want somebody on here who has a story and something to tell and they want to help. They're doing this with the right heart, you know, because this is not a pedestal for me to inflate Aaron. This is a pedestal for me to take the work that God is doing in my life and has done even before. I knew he was working with me, like the 21-year career, and everything that he ever put me in was for a reason and it's helped form the human being that I am today and I'm able to talk about that and give that back. And this is all God, not Aaron, and I look for that in the same hearts of the guests that I bring on the show.
Speaker 1:And as I talk about these top three shows, what I'm going off of is the number of downloads for these shows. That's how I'm ranking these and I'm going to go through and break them down and so, without further ado, let's just jump into that. All right, the first and most downloaded show is called Faith on the Frontline. It's episode number 26. And if you remember this episode, there was myself and two guests. I had Mr Tim Smith.
Speaker 1:Mr Tim Smith was one of the original founding members of Mars Hill Church out of Seattle. He's got a great podcast out there called the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Church out of Seattle. He's got a great podcast out there called the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. But Tim Smith is a pastor, he's a music pastor, he's a worship leader and that was his role. And he became a teaching pastor at the Portland branch of the Mars Hill Church. And anybody that has heard the Mars Hill Church or knows the Mars Hill story Mars Hill was increasing the butts in seats attendance numbers 50 to 200% every single year. The mission became about putting people in the butts in seats versus saving souls. Overnight that entire kingdom of the Mars Hill Church crumbled. The leader, mark Driscoll of the church went out and was doing some radical things and overnight it crumbled and that left Tim with an identity crisis. All he had ever known was this church pastoral leadership in this way, because it was very intense, and he talks about all of those things on this show. I know Tim from his new world. He's a consultant at the church that I this show. I know Tim from His New World. He's a consultant at the church that I go to. He helps consult on the worship team and answers the questions why do we do worship the way that we do, and is it good, bad or indifferent? So that's Mr Tim Smith. He was on the show.
Speaker 1:The second guest on that show is Mr James Doyle. James Doyle is a police officer that I worked with, but before he was a police officer, he's a veteran, he's a Christian and he was involved in a critical incident that really impacted his life. He got involved in an officer-involved shooting during the George Floyd riots and when he did that, because of the political angles and political views during that time and literally the country was burning in your major metropolitan liberal cities that put an extra focus on James's case and while James did nothing wrong, that didn't take away the scrutiny and the months and months of under a microscope that James was and his case was. You know, and I'll let James speak for himself but when people are intentionally trying to get you and go after you, uh, for doing nothing wrong, it really increases the mental health issues and the stress that it puts on one, especially in this career. We don't wake up in the morning and say I want to go outside and shoot and kill somebody. That's not how we start our day. We start our day by wanting to do the right thing. Sometimes the devil jumps up in front of us and we have to deal with a set of circumstances they have presented. That's what happened in this case and as a result, james had a lot of stress thrown onto his shoulders.
Speaker 1:But one of the great things about having him on this specific show Faith on the Front Lines is James is able to take a look at the situation of Christianity and faith in the police department in such a way that he can relate from different angles. He wasn't always a Christian, so he has that view he's a cop. What is it like to bring Christianity into the workplace, where you feel like an outsider or you really don't know who else around you is a Christian, you know, and whether you're a cop or corporate. When you bring that in, sometimes as human beings we don't want to feel like the odd man out, we don't want to feel like the individual. So, even though we're a strong Christian, on Sundays it's really easy to not talk about that or show your faith or proclaim your faith. On Monday through Friday. He is able to talk about that and he's able to discuss it in such a way that he can bring real-life circumstances into it. He can bring a Christianity angle and for those cops out there listening, he knows what it's like to be the most intense person in the room. And when I say that, the cops will understand what I'm talking about. If you've been in a situation in the church environment say a small group and you show up, you are the most intense person in that room a lot of times based on what you deal with. And that is something that James is able to bring to this conversation, which I thought was super cool, which is probably why it was the number one downloaded episode of this last year.
Speaker 1:Besides the individual stories of Tim and James, we try to tackle the dirty truth that no one wants to talk about, and that is about faith in corporate, faith in Christianity, faith in the real world outside of church on Sunday, faith in Christianity, faith in the real world outside of church on Sunday, and a lot of people some people, I'll say have no problem proclaiming their faith daily. Others of us, for whatever reason, we want to hide from it or we don't want to be so vocal, and that's what we talk about on here. This is a two-part episode. Episode 26 and episode 27 are parts one and two of this. In episode number 27, we actually deal with comments from listeners. Listeners were called in. Listeners sent messages asking questions about Christianity, about faith, about proclaiming faith, and we're able to dive in and talk about each one of those questions and get the perspective of both Tim, james and myself. It's a great episode episode number 26 and 27, faith on the Front Lines, where we tackle the dirty truth that no one wants to talk about. You should go give that a listen.
Speaker 1:The next most popular downloaded episode was episode number 17, and that is called From Lieutenant to Buffoon. In that story, we interview Scott Walden. Scott Walden was a Jackson County Sheriff's deputy, turned detective, turned sergeant, turned lieutenant. He had a quick rise to the top but all that did was lead to a fast fall to the bottom. Scott discusses his career, his success, his quick rise to lieutenant and the stress that crept in every single day without him even knowing it.
Speaker 1:You know, and I've mentioned on here before, the things we see, the things we do, the intensity that we live in law enforcement or in any career. While we think that it doesn't affect us, we think that we're impervious to this, it really seeps in through the cracks and crevices and soaks our internal sponge and eventually that's what builds stress and sometimes we break as a result. Scott goes on to tell us about how he managed the stress and he doesn't brag about it because it's not positive, but he talks about how he and others like him in every walk of life can manage stress by trying to do things to take care of yourself Maybe vices, maybe alcohol, maybe affairs, maybe putting your loved ones on the back burner, looking at yourself first, making yourself more important than those around you. And that's exactly what Scott did, and he talks and tells all about it the fact that he had these vices and that he had the separation from his family where he's actually living in a motor home out behind the police department. None of that mattered. As long as he was the shining star at the police department, at the sheriff's office. As long as he was the one continuing to climb that corporate ladder and shine all day long, the rest of his world crumbled around him and shine all day long, the rest of his world crumbled around him.
Speaker 1:It didn't help at all that Scott was directly involved in the Umpqua Community College school shooting. Now he was one of the detectives assigned to that and he got to see firsthand the devastation that that took not only on the people there as he steps over bodies but as the community as a whole, as he had to go out and interview those families and talk to the families and essentially lie to them when he knew their loved ones were involved. But he was on a fact-finding mission and not able to disclose because the bodies hadn't been properly identified by the medical examiner. Scott talks about the toll that took on him and that internal stress that he compartmentalized and tried to stuff away. But as he walks up to the crime scene and he literally sees the person sitting on the bench with his head in his hand crying. He understands the gravity of the situation and the gravity that his career has on him and the weight and the stress that it's putting on his shoulders.
Speaker 1:And Scott talks about how that was a pivotal moment in his career, how he started to crumble and things started to get out of control With all of the stress accumulating and unable to shake it. He was at work one day acting as a lieutenant and he was having a conversation with a subordinate and during that conversation Scott lost his mind and he yelled and he screamed and he caused a scene and that was the beginning of the end that was going from a lieutenant to a buffoon, from a respected individual to an absolute fool in your workplace. It wasn't short after that that he resigned, probably in lieu of termination, and that is how he ended his career. So you have a highly decorated man that spent nearly 20 years as a law enforcement professional, very high climb to the top, involved in critical incidents, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. All of that to be lost in a couple of sentences when the stress overtook you and became too much. It was the straw that broke his camel's back and that is what ended his career. And then you get to hear from Scott about the recovery and the healing and the life on the other side and the identification of stressors and problems and warning signs that were there, that he should have picked up on but he didn't. Scott talks about all of this stuff in great intimate detail, completely transparent and laying it all on the line.
Speaker 1:Episode number 17, from Lieutenant to Buffoon, and then the third most downloaded is called Final Day, from Meth Lab to Meditation. This is episode number two. This came out early on. It's episode number two and in this one I talk about my journey from a rookie police officer on the streets who thought he knew it all was doing it all, had been an explorer forever, thousands of hours in a uniform, but now he's a cop, and how I went from a rookie police officer to my world spiraling out of control that ultimately ended my career 21 years later. I talk about the survivor's guilt surrounding my partner getting killed in the line of duty in my first year of my career, how I instantly started planning my funeral and maintain that funeral record over the next 21 years I was planning what songs, who my pallbearers were, who was standing where around my casket? It was all planned. I thought that was normal. According to my therapist it's not and yet that's what we do, right. And it even goes as far as when you sometimes, when you start at a police department the first day, they ask you to plan your funeral on a sheet. They ask what's your faith, you know, what's your family? Who do you want your pallbearers to be? All of this stuff, and that's day one. We're setting ourselves up for failure. And I took that to the next level During this episode.
Speaker 1:I talk about my PTSD, how it was an instant end to my career and how I fought that diagnosis and how ultimately, it nearly took my life. But you know one of the things that once I fought the diagnosis, ultimately I had to surrender to that and I had to accept the diagnosis. And that is where that healing journey began. And then I started to accept help and forgiveness to myself and faith and healing. I started to learn new skills to help cope with those stress. It was no longer those vices like Scott spoke about. It was more things like meditation and adult coloring. That's in a coloring book with little pencils. It's fun. Yoga. You know those types of things.
Speaker 1:I started to learn how the brain worked and how the body's repeated response to trauma affected the neurotransmitters in the brain and it causes us to be the assholes that we are, and you know, and that's not an excuse, it's just the way the body responds and the defense mechanisms that go up inside of our brain. But there's a way to undo that and I talk about the unwinding of all of those things that have went on and all of that cumulative stress and cumulative trauma and it's it's pretty awesome. You know and in hindsight this sounds like hippy-dippy stuff. I get it. You know, three, four years ago I would have never said I was having a podcast right now laying out all of my vulnerable stuff to the world and talking about neurotransmitters in the brain and adult coloring. Never in a million years would have I thought that I was gonna be this guy. But I'm here to tell you sometimes God has a different plan for us, you know, and that's what it's all about. It's about learning how to cope with the circumstances that you've been given and how to deal with those in a healthy way, not an unhealthy way. That's episode number two. Final day meth lab to meditation, the third most downloaded episode of the last year, and you know that rounds out the top three. And a fourth episode that I want to talk about as an honorable mention is called surviving the unthinkable the weight of Ashley secret.
Speaker 1:This is episode number 19. In this case, you're going to get to hear from the strongest woman I have probably ever met. You see, ashley, at the age of 23 years old, came to the police department to report that she had been sexually abused for decades by her own father. I was the detective assigned to the case and ultimately brought the case to a conclusion, but only with Ashley's help. Ashley in the episode talks about over decades being sexually assaulted over a thousand times. Her father made her his girlfriend. They went on vacations together as boyfriend and girlfriend. At 16 years old, her father got her pregnant and then took her to the abortion clinic and paid cash to have the baby aborted. A man who was once entrusted to care for her, provide safety and shelter and love, is the one that turned against her and the one that made her a shell of the person that God intended her to be. She talks about being assaulted from the ages of three to 20 and what actually occurred. That brought her enough courage to come to the police department and report this. She knew that day when she showed up in my lobby that she was going to be turning against her family and potentially destroying her family, but the reasons why she disclosed was more important than the destruction that might come from it. You'll hear about the investigation, you'll hear about the court proceedings, you'll hear what the suspect had to say about the incident and then, finally, and the best part, is the newfound freedom that Ashley has since the disclosure. Ashley tells this story in the hope of helping others just like her, knowing that sexual crimes and sexual violence is so prevalent in our communities and is inside of a lot of homes in ancestral relationships. Ashley understands that and she wants to give courage and hope to other people that are just like her, that may be living with these heavy secrets, and let them know that they're not alone and there is a life on the other side. So, episode number 19 surviving the unthinkable, the, the Weight of Ashley's Secrets Awesome, awesome episode and one of the strongest women I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 1:People ask me all the time hey, aaron, what's your podcast about? And I wish I had a better elevator pitch to tell them, because I usually just ramble something off and then at the end I'm like man, that was dumb and it really doesn't encompass anything that I'm about. Here's what it's about. It's about the twist and turns of life. I tell it from the perspective of the homicide detective, child abuse detective, career cop. But I talk about the twist and turns, not only on the ride along with me in the passenger seat, but also about life, about mental health.
Speaker 1:Guests come on and talk about losing their children, multiple children. One father lost two little kids. He comes on and tells those stories. We talk about the things in life that people sometimes want to shy away from. We bring those to the surface, we light those up and we talk about them because there's lessons to be learned in all of those. We talk about serial killer investigations that resulted in a police officer getting shot and killed in the line of duty in Alaska. We talk I've spoken to sex workers and talk about how they go from that to raising a family and to transitioning into corporate America and the goods and the bads and the uglies in the sex industry.
Speaker 1:I give some case studies. I do snapshots. Snapshots is nothing more than a 10-minute or less little blurb about something that's going on and it might be funny, it might be entertaining, it could be. Just I just want to get something out there. Typical Tuesday episodes those are episodes that are outlandish calls that literally could fall any day of the week and they're pretty normal. But people that are hearing these are like man. These things are made for movies of the week and they're pretty normal. But people that are hearing there's like man. These are things are made for movies. Well, it is, and that's what we do every single day. During the last year I spoke to a Hollywood makeup artist who literally has written the book on Hollywood makeup artistry. The same guy wrote it for Van Halen. He'll tell you his entire story.
Speaker 1:You know, a lot of guests on the podcast come to me with a story to tell and I just give them a place to let it out. But I got to make sure their heart is right and their message is right. You know, one of the things this podcast has done is allowed me to be a guest on other podcasts. For example, I've been a guest on Small Town Dicks. If you guys haven't listened to that podcast, you should check it out. Small Town Dicks. It's essentially talking about detectives from a small town but they host this national radio show or this national podcast where they bring guests on from all over the world. It's a case study based show but they talk about everything from murder to abduction to kidnap all kinds of stuff. Small Town Dicks I've been on that show.
Speaker 1:Resiliency First. Resiliency First is a podcast that is based around a resiliency program that I went to in California. It's a four-day program where they talk about the science of stress on the body and the science of repeat trauma in the brain. And Resiliency First is a podcast that breaks down those things. It's some guest interviews. It talks about the science and the neuroscience behind all of the things that occur whenever we have repeat exposure to trauma or near death experiences.
Speaker 1:So this podcast has opened up a world of opportunities for myself and for a lot of the guests and I know that because I get that mail. I get those emails talking about how it's helped people work through different things or people that their children are experiencing trauma or crisis or suicidal tendencies, and some of the things that I say are able to be related to their children. And, like I said earlier, guys and girls and men and women, and saints and sinners. This podcast, its whole goal, is to use my pain for a purpose, and I just want to take what God has given me the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent lay it out there for other people to gleam a little bit of hope from.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for listening. This has been a one-year recap. Again, thank you, thank you. Thank you, keep listening. As long as I have listeners, I'll keep putting stuff out. If you have any suggestions, you want to hear anything, you want to be a guest on the show, hit me up Murderstomusicatgmailcom. Murdersthonumber2musicatgmailcom. Ladies and gentlemen, I love you. That is the Murders to Music Podcast.
